Piadas

CURIOSIDADES DA NOSSA LINGUA

Diz-se: Batatinha quando nasce, esparrama pelo chão..
Enquanto o correto é: Batatinha quando nasce, espalha a rama pelo
chão...

No popular se diz: Cor de burro quando foge
O correto é: Corro de burro quando foge!

Outro que no popular todo mundo erra: Quem tem boca vai a Roma
O correto é: Quem tem boca vaia Roma

Outro que todo mundo diz errado: Cuspido e escarrado- quando alguém quer
dizer que é muito parecido com outra pessoa.
Correto é: Esculpido em Carrara (Carrara é um tipo de mármore)

Mais um famoso... Quem não tem cão, caça com gato...
O correto é: - Quem não tem cão, caça como gato... Ou seja, sozinho!



APRENDEU ????

Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.

 Mom : How do you know?

 Girl: Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic

 cover.



 Bangladesh Worker : Sir, me no come to work, me sick.

 Boss : When I am sick, I have sex with my wife -

 try it.

 2 hours later, Bangladesh Worker : Boss! It worked! Me ok now.

 You got nice house.



 After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.

 Man       : Why? Want to have sex again?

 Thai Girl : No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before.



 Women's lives are hard. Morning - wash clothes. Noon - hang clothes.

 Evening - keep clothes. Night - iron clothes. Midnight - take off

 clothes.

 After midnight - find clothes.



 To make it straight, she pulls it. To make it stand, she rubs it. To

 make it stiff, she licks it. To let it in, she pushes it. True?

 Threading a needle is not easy.



 Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass: Anyone got a cock?

 All men rose. Priest : I meant anyone seen a cock?  All women rose.

 Priest : I mean anyone seen my cock?  All nuns rose.



 A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated. She then

 blew his ashes into the ocean and said : Sweetheart, this is my last

 blowjob for you.



 Girl   : Mom, what is a penis?

 Mom : When you become a good girl, you will get one.

 Girl   : But mom, what if I am not a good girl?

 Mom : Then you will get many!



 A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary: If I

 give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?

 Secretary : Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties.



 Schoolgirl : I do not want to take the sex Education class.

 Teacher    : Why?

 Schoolgirl : Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral.



 Two sperms talking on mobile.

 Ist   : I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you

 close by?

 2nd : No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the

 tonsils.



 Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a

 PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.